Week 38 of 52 – Adjustable Waistbands and Adjusting to Reality.

This week marks my twentieth year high school reunion.   I’ve looked forward to the event, even assisted with the planning.  

Then yesterday it  happened – I realized that in five days, I would be seeing people I hadn’t seen in twenty years and I had NOTHING. TO. WEAR.  Yes, I was shouting.

For months, ok over a year now, I’ve been residing in this narrow post-baby corner of my wardrobe.  Holding out hope I would pop down to my preferred size any day now.  I don’t diet so I knew it would take longer to reach my goal and I’d been pretty OK with that – until now.

It’s as if I was suddenly transformed to that worried freshman where I thought everyone was looking at me.  And really critiquing what I wore.

Panic was followed by anger – my husband was the unfortunate target.  His crime? Being silent after my lament of weight gain and lack of fashion choices.  My accusation?  “MEN, you just don’t understand, you wear your hidden adjustable waistbands and don’t have to give a darn if you gain weight.”  His defense?  “I knew nothing I would say would be the right thing to say.”

Once I calmed down, we strategized a bit:

Financially - Similar to the grocery budget, we can only cut the clothing budget so much.  We probably shouldn't have cut this category as much as we did while getting out of debt so now we will have to increase it to make up the difference.  I consignment and thrift shop for the boys but hadn’t done it lately for myself, so I need to make some time.

Rationally – Truly, has my wardrobe worn to rags overnight?  No.  Does absolutely nothing fit?  No.  Does everything need replacing today? No.   

Relationally – Walt talked me off my ledge, and I apologized for my undeserved outburst.  He even offered to give me part of his hunting and fishing fund for clothes.  I refused, but he still earned points.

At the end of the day, the reason for wardrobe woes is a beautiful little boy we were told we couldn’t have.  So Give Thanks and Get a Grip I Must. 

And as Walt said, remember it’s a season.  In his words, “I’ve accepted the reality that I will be fat for six to nine more months (his estimation of when Samuel will sleep consistently through the night), and until then, I’m going to say to heck with it and stretch my elastic waist bands to their capacity.”  Men...

For my 52-week photography project, I present an injured child. 

George is now healing from his first bloody skinned knee.  Now before you judge me ;-), I promise I'd first held him and dried up his tears.   Once he was calm, I said, let's take a picture of your skinned knee.  He agreed and when I pulled out the camera, the waterworks began, he cried all over again.

Week 37 of 52 - Budging the Grocery Budget...or not.

I’ve heard of a person’s body weight reaching a ‘set point’ where it’s hard to get the pounds to budge. But for us, our grocery and household envelope has also hit a set point.

We have one envelope for all of our household items – groceries, paper products, cleaning products, bath/grooming items, and baby supplies.

When we first began our budget, Walt wanted to separate these into 5 different envelopes, while I preferred the one-envelope approach as I knew who would get the dreadful task of breaking down a Kroger bill into 5 parts. When we met with the financial coach, I had my one-envelope defense prepared, and thankfully he recommended one envelope before I could clear my throat. Since we were chatting via conference call with the coach, only Walt could see my one-envelope victory dance.

So we’ve managed to meet the financial coach’s budget recommendation for that envelope. To do this, we use coupons, shop sales, plan meals, and use Amazon mom for diaper discounts. But try as we might, we weren't able to spend less than his recommendation. Then last month, we had almost $200 left in our grocery budget, so I thought I’d finally broken a record! I excitedly moved some over to savings, and covered a few other expenses.

Before I could revel in my accomplishment, the September grocery budget exploded – day diapers, night diapers, 932 tubes of diaper cream (or at least it seemed), good coupon stock-ups, and a few unexpected grocery trips. Suddenly, we are only 10 days into the month with $75 left for the rest of the month. So most likely, exactly what I “saved” last month will go back into this month’s grocery budget.

Lesson learned for us – our grocery dollars can’t be liquidated for other goals. If we spend less one month, we will undoubtedly make up the difference the next. I may never embrace my body’s natural set point, but I’m at making peace with the grocery set point… at least until the little guy is out of diapers.


We've been embracing the wonderful weather lately. On the cool days, we've played outside...

On the rainy days, we watched it rain and raced our trucks around...and eventually went to the Chickfila playground to burn the energy of cooped-up little boys.

Week 36 of 52: More Harley Fun!

More shots of my friend Mel, her husband Fred, and their fabulous Harleys.

Week 35 of 52 - Living Vicariously

I had the opportunity to photograph my friend Mel and her husband Fred today.  They are Harley riders and I enjoyed capturing them doing what they love.

As for me, I followed behind them in the Rav4 and pretended I was cruising behind on my Heritage Softail.  Yep, it was quite a stretch for a '99 Toyota with 2 car seats in the back.

Week 34 of 52 - Proceed to Checkout

What do savings accounts and scales have in common?  I can't fool either of them.

I’ve decided saving money is like maintaining a weight loss.  When you are losing weight, people see the pounds shedding, ask how you are doing it, and congratulate you on your progress.  When you are “shedding” debt, you see the numbers falling, payments ending, and you get to celebrate the victory when you are done.

Then comes the maintenance part of weight loss – figuring out how you can still enjoy food without regaining the lost pounds.  Similar to saving money – figuring out how much fun you can have while saving cash so you don’t regain the debts.

I’m motivated not to go in debt again, but I’ve felt daunted by our task of Baby Step 3 (saving a 3-6 month emergency fund).  We also need to save for two used vehicles over the next couple of years.  I imagine the scene: all that work and I’ll be able to say yep, this here is my new Toyota, she’s 10 years old and only has 100,000 miles on her.

Hopefully, my humor is evident.  The success will be in having money saved, not the car itself.

All that said, I do envy people who get a natural charge out of watching their bank account grow.  As for me, I have to work against my 3-click preferred endorphin release: “Add to Cart,” “Proceed to Checkout,” and “Place Order.”   Probably much like I will always have to manage my sweet tooth.

I remind myself that 15 years ago, I began a weight loss journey which gradually led to a healthier lifestyle. (A lifestyle which includes small daily doses of dark chocolate, mind you.)  With time, persistence, and prayer, I will learn to embrace these new money habits too.  Who knows, maybe someday I will be more giddy about my bank statement in the mail than an Amazon box on my porch.  Um, I'd better keep praying.

For this week's photos, Samuel and I stayed at home Wednesday night and played outside as the sun was setting.  He had been cranky with his molars coming in, but a little time outside took his mind off his troubles.

Week 33 of 52 - Growing and Changing

Ever look at your kids and swear they are growing before your eyes?  I've definitely had one of those weeks.  I'm away from them 48 hours and see changes in their looks, George's conversation, all the little details.  I think it's why I took so many "everyday" photos this week.

We had a tree branch fall and George took his toy hedge trimmers out to "cut it up".

And I admit, Samuel's hair probably isn't "scalped" as I described, but it IS really short and he looks so much older now.

Today, we went to Big Lots for George to cash in his spending money.  We've not been as consistent in using the coins for a good behavior award, but when we do, it works.  He's now earning money vacuuming the crumbs under Samuel's chair - practically a full-time job.

In the store, I marveled at the differences in the two boys.  When George was Samuel's age, he wouldn't leave my side.  As soon as Samuel's feet hit the ground, he was off to explore the rest of the store... as I chased behind.

We talked about how he only had enough money for either the three little sets of tools or the big tool set.  He is deciding which set to buy.

He may be a bit like his mother, analyzing all the data before making a decision...

He had discarded a similar tool set over a year ago.   Then he saw a photo of himself from last year playing with the tools and he began talking incessantly about "the tools of mine in the picture."  George:  Beg for tools.  Parent:  Give in and schlep up to the 100+ degree attic to look for the tools.  George:  Cry when parent can't find tools.  Other parent:  Think of another possible box in the attic.  Repeat the next day.  George decided to stop the madness and buy more tools.

Week 32 of 52 - Catching Up

Two weeks have passed and finally I'm blogging again.

Cause of absence?  Camera issues.  Here's how it all began:  I shot happily with the same camera for a couple of years, then chose to upgrade this year.  I saved my hobby money, made some Craigslist sales, and proceeded to buy a newer model.

Then trouble began.  I am extremely picky about focus and I began noticing my new camera* was front-focusing with two of my lenses.  After several tests, tears, and emails to my photography buddy, she agreed, and even the manufacturer agreed.   I sent it in for repair.

A few weeks passed, another camera is in my hands, and the previously-new camera was repaired and sold - with full disclosure to its new owner of course.  I'm enjoying my hobby again and able to "focus" on everything besides focus!

Between shipping cameras and selling gear for less than I paid, I lost a sizable chunk of my saved hobby money.  And I missed two weeks of my 52-week project.

I'm still sorting out my lessons learned, but eager to jump back in to what I love.  So a little scuffed and humbled, I charge forward.


This Week in Photos

I chose this photo because Colton reminds me of photos I've seen of my dad as a boy.  I never saw a resemblance until this photo.  So I loved it, despite being a tad overexposed... black/white to the rescue.

Giggly George.  They were playing with water guns and he was contemplating drinking the water out of his gun.  Why?  Because Samuel did.  I love that all the boys are captured in some way. 

Eagerly trying to figure out this whole water gun deal, Samuel paused to look my way.  Shortly before he gave up and drank the water out of the gun instead.

I could write an entire blog on this lady.  Former professor, friend, and extended mother.  She always speaks her mind to me - and my life is better for it.  She has been Christ's hands, feet, and mouth when I needed His love, encouragement, and help.  She has a new puppy Bud and wanted some photos to send her extended family.  She is holding her older dog Sunshine in this photo.

*I'm purposefully not mentioning any camera brands/models.  This can happen to any brand and typically is a function of the lenses rather than the camera.  In my case, the manufacturer concluded the camera needed adjustment.