Week 19 of 52 - Something Borrowed, Something Navy Blue

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No, I really did, I forgot the garment bag with the clothes that we are supposed to wear to the wedding.”

“No, I put the garment bag on the loveseat by the door, so it has to be in the car.”

“I hung the garment bag back in the hall closet while you were at the training so the clothes wouldn’t get wrinkled.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. This is from the man who routinely wears socks with sandals and prefers pants that zip off into shorts. Now he is worried about wrinkles?

I had packed everything Thursday night and placed it by the door. After a very long commute home Friday evening, I snuggled and fed the baby while he packed the car. I mentally checked off everything that I had packed up the night before, feeling more and more confident I had remembered everything.

So when we arrived at almost 11 pm and learned my clothes for the wedding were still at home, almost 3 hours away, my heart sank.

Then as I’m processing how I will find a dress before the wedding tomorrow afternoon, he says, “I guess this means I won’t get to go fishing tomorrow morning, huh?”

“Don’t talk to me about FISHING,” I growl.

The next morning I decide my options. First, I text my good friend who might have something I could borrow. When I don’t hear back from her, I head into town to the one department store.

For 40 minutes, I try on over 10 different dresses – my options are down to a purple dress with 3 inch waist pleats that scream, “Is she expecting again?” and a bum zipper. Then there is a yellow dress 2 sizes too big and my attempts to fold the extra fabric over under the belt are failing.

I am heartsick at the idea of having to buy yet another dress when I had three I'd just bought at home. My dear mother is calling to assure me she can fix the zipper or take up the other dress but I hate both dresses. My frustration is slipping out in my thoughts – yeah, they’d better enjoy their wedding day because it won’t be so enjoyable when he forgets THEIR garment bag.

Then just before I start to shed tears, my phone rings, my friend Meg is on the line saying she has plenty of dresses to choose from. So I race out of my dressing room and speed to her house – a far better selection than the department store and all in my size! I choose a beautiful navy blue and cream one and thank her as I race out the door.

As a funny side note, my mom later tells me that just before I called to tell her I was going to Meg’s, she heard Walt tell George, “Son, we’d better pray that mama finds a dress so that mama will be nice to daddy.” Glad that prayer was answered because I was failing at the being nice part!

In the end, we made it just fine with my borrowed dress and Walt in my dad’s borrowed button-down and pleated pants, circa 1998. When I saw all the bridesmaids dressed in the exact same shade of pink as my dress tucked in the garment bag at home, I had to smile. Maybe he saved me a wedding faux pas after all.

Love him and love that in the middle of everything he grinned and said, "look at it this way, I've given you a blog topic this week"...

Favorite image of the week:  my brother with Samuel...

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;
         From where shall my help come?
    My help comes from the LORD,
         Who made heaven and earth.
    He will not allow your foot to slip;
         He who keeps you will not slumber.

Psalm 121: 1-3

Week 18 of 52 - Vanity and Maturity at Odds

When we considered what we could we could do without for six months, we agreed no new clothes for the adults.  Believe it or not, it was actually my idea.  We were rocking along just fine; I was even surviving quite nicely in the small segment of my closet known as post- baby-and- not-everything-fits-quite-right-yet.  Then an email from Facebook,  “you’ve been tagged in a photo”.

I scanned the photo and thought how pretty – all the lovely ladies from my church at a wedding we all attended.  Then I paused, who was that older girl on the end?  And what was she wearing? Oh my, that’s me and that brown polka dot dress, that’s mine too...except it just wasn’t as attractive captured there for all time.

Suddenly I realized – I still have Easter to go!  Then my cousin’s May wedding!   What ever will I wear?  This dress will never do…  I will say I did pray over my childish behavior.  And without hearing of my “plight", a dear spiritual mentor calls to tell me that she’s proud of me for the financial changes we are making and God put it on her heart to send some money to buy a dress.  I was quite surprised, thanked God, marveled at His provision, and bought a dress.  

Wouldn’t it be an uplifting story if it ended there?  But it didn’t.  I then bought another dress for the wedding because after all, it was also on sale and I wouldn't want the same people to see me at the wedding wearing the SAME dress.  Then the next day, I bought a third dress because it was one of my favorite colors and I had a coupon!  I reasoned, if it had been at the first store, I wouldn’t have bought one of the other dresses, so maybe I will take back one of those dresses.  But later decided it really didn’t make sense to return the first dress because after all it was on sale and I might need a third dress before summer’s end.  Oh and Walt could use a color-coordinated polo shirt… so in my shopping haze, I end up spending $150 of our dollars.

I like the dresses and while Dave Ramsey would never understand, I tell myself that maybe his wife Sharon would… sometimes you just feel better in a new dress, or three.

As for now, I will enjoy the dresses and work on regaining my focus and maturity with our finances.   I heard Dave say, adults devise a plan and act on it while a child just does what feels good at the time. So I am trying to take Dave’s advice and devise a plan – a plan so big and long-term that the goals are more appealing than what I’m not wearing.  I can only hope my maturity outpaces my vanity.

As for my photography project this week, here's a few:  couldn't resist a shot before pushing those toes back in the crib.  Not as worried about his safety as I was his sleep being interrupted by a stuck foot...

 

While my brother was swinging him sideways...

I joked that this odd shot may be our monthly family photo... Samuel, a blurry George, Walt's arm, my foot...

Week 17 of 52 - Easter Sunrise

Thankful for the chance to watch a beautiful Easter sunrise over those Smoky Mountains with my mom and G.  She commented that she almost expected to see Him in the clouds.  "And then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and then all the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of the sky with power and great glory.  And He will send forth His angels with a great trumpet and they will gather together His elect from the four winds, from one end of the sky to the other."  Matthew 24:30-31

I have to share something that warmed my heart this weekend. In my hometown is a Christian family that has worked hard and profited immensely from their efforts.  They have given back so much to my town - a performing arts center that showcases Christian recording artists and jaw-dropping local talent, a factory converted to a huge playroom for kids and restaurants, as well as multiple stores and businesses that employee many people.

On Saturday, they opened two buildings to the community's children for egg hunts.  This photo does not do justice to how many eggs were in this room.  Each egg was filled and many contained prizes for larger gifts. Perhaps some would scoff and remind this isn't why we celebrate Easter.  Of course it's not, but every direction my eyes turned, I saw laughing children. I have to think God was enjoying those smiles and this act of generosity.  Thank you Drake family for all you give to your community and how you shine Christ into the world.

Decided that starting this month, I will capture a family photo of us each month.  Here's my first.  Most will be just capturing life versus a posing moment, but since we were all cleaned up...

And a few more favorites...

Week 16 of 52 - A Charge to Remember

Went to a beautiful wedding on Saturday, then on Sunday, our praise team sang a song that was played at our wedding – Amazing Love.  I couldn’t help but reflect on how our wedding was just the beginning of our journey:

• Two beautiful children despite the odds
• God welcoming three beautiful women into His presence… W’s mom, Sandra Danielly, and Cheri Rutland. If not for their prayers over W, would our paths have ever crossed?
• Vacations and holidays and family
• Arguments that brought tears… and more importantly, laughter once we learned we’d better get over ourselves and find the humor!
• A beloved, mostly Australian cattle dog – rescued, loved, and left our lives.
• Unemployment, underemployment, and new jobs
• Family members suffering and surviving life-threatening illnesses
• More laughter at ourselves
• Recognizing more and more that apart from Him, we are nothing.

On our wedding day, W's brother-in-law read a charge given by W's father and he included these verses.  He did not know we had chosen the same verses for our wedding program:

So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.  

Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.  Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body and be thankful.  Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God.  
Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.  Colossians 3: 12-17

It's a charge we will strive toward all the days of our lives, coming up short time and again, relishing in the forgiveness that is promised, picking ourselves back up, and being thankful we do not walk alone.


Speaking of love, I discovered a new one this weekend - macro. 

And for anyone who is still reading, I've clarified a comment I made last week about G's photo, here it is.

Week 15 of 52 - A pleasant surprise!

As a government employee, I truly anticipated I would begin Week 15 on furlough.

In fact, we’ve been anticipating this furlough a while.  A few weeks back, we paid off our smaller debt and then put our debt snowball (baby step 2) on hold.  We didn’t want to face an unpaid furlough with only our baby step one emergency fund.   With storm clouds looming on the horizon, we reluctantly put away our colored markers.  

I’m thankful that today, I have dusted off those markers and tomorrow, I can go to work!  I am more motivated than ever to continue our debt snowball particularly since the storm clouds may revisit during 2012 negotiations.

Despite the potential impact to my personal finances, I do want to see our government reel in our debt issue.  After all, if we as individuals are trying to live below our means, shouldn’t we as a nation at least live within our means?  I could better visualize our nation’s debt problem after listening to DR’s rant during the first hour of his February 16^th show.  He read an email from Joe Q. Public with these facts:

• ·         We make $58k each year, yet we spend around $75k each year.
• ·         We have $327k in credit card debt and pay almost $10k in interest each year on this debt.
• ·         We decided to get our spending under control and spend only $72k instead of $75k!

According to him, the ratios were similar to how the government spends each year.  So while that person might be moving in the right direction to spend $72k rather than $75k, the budget still needs major trimming just to break even, let alone make progress on the debt.

Perhaps, we could dissect his math or argue now is not the time.  But when is the time?  It reminds me of our personal budget – now was not the time to deal with our student loan debt, after all, in a few short years, we would be free of diapers and childcare bills, THEN we would deal with the debt.   Meanwhile, we would fall short of other financial goals because we hadn’t devised a budget that truly addressed our spending needs of today, aggressively reduced the debt of yesterday, and planned for the future.

 It hasn’t been easy and it isn’t always fun.  Right now, I would rather be making a deposit on a vacation rental than squeezing the budget for extra student loan payments.  But I know if we stay the course, we can take a future vacation without credit card payments that follow us home.

I purposely chose to look only at the mathematics of this debt situation because I don’t want to spark a debate about how the budget should be reduced.  I loathe debating things I can’t change.  Instead, I save my debating skills for things that I can truly influence such as how toilet paper should be put on the holder.   Or how often air conditioning filters should be changed.  Besides, the fact I have lived beyond my means and accumulated debt probably means I'm not the best person to tell the government how to manage their budget.

So I sit here tonight, very thankful for the opportunity to work for another paycheck, live in this free country, vote for our leaders, and bow my head in prayer for all of them.

For this week’s photos, I've been consumed by digging in my flower beds instead of shooting with my camera so here are some quickie shots.

My little guy who is pulling up everything in sight, including us…

My toddler who refused to avert his eyes from Sponge Bob for a photo, no matter what I tried to do…
(Like the beach towel? My stain-proofing furniture measure).

Edit 4/18:  This brought a question or two, so let me clarify - if I need him to do something, he doesn't get the choice of refusing me.  Well, he has the choice and the consequences if he chooses not to do so.  But if I'm sticking a camera in his face five times a day, he gets the choice of whether to participate or not.  This is my hobby, not his, besides who truly wants a photo of a scowling 3-year old?  And yes, we are reevaluating our television choices (she says with a sheepish grin).

IHF - Best Face From March

Week 14 of 52 - Spring has Sprung!

Every Spring, I declare it my favorite season.  Then a few months pass, the beautiful fall colors and crisp days descend, and I waver in my declaration.  But as for today, I am delighting in the birth of new flowers and green leaves, the bees buzzing and the morning dew shining.

When we bought our home, there was nothing – this multitude of wild onions, some scrubby boxwoods, a poorly-placed star magnolia, and a handful of grass seed tossed over the builder’s shoulder as he spun out of the drive.

Our adventures in yard work were initially fueled by those beautiful second trimester hormones.  During my pregnancy with George, I tied ropes around those scrubby boxwoods and pulled them out with my Toyota Rav4… my mechanic brother just shook his head and said it’s a wonder I didn’t blow it up.

We’ve learned a lot since then.  Most importantly, we budget far in advance.  Spring comes every year – it’s no surprise the maintenance expenses will follow.  Here are the top lessons learned…

• *Invest in a  landscaping class.  We took a continuing-ed class and learned we’d spent $400 on trees, plants, and plant bed accessories that were bad choices (and time proved this to be true).  Just because Lowes sells it, doesn’t mean we should buy it.
• *Over-invest in top soil and compost.  We spent 3 years trying to till and coax this red clay with a few bags of dirt.  It wasn’t until we called in the dump truck from a local nursery that we saw a difference.
• *A Toro Dingo can make light work of digging holes for trees.  At first, we gasped at the $150 price tag for a ½ day rental at our local Ace Hardware.  Then we calculated how much time it would take for W to dig 25 holes that size and realized his time (and the health of our marriage) was more valuable than that - quite the bargain!
• * Local gardening stores are the bomb-diggity.   We’ve found plants and shrubs at 1/3 the price of our local big box store.  Just last night, I saw a particular perennial at Home Depot for $4.96.  I paid $10… for SEVEN of them.
• *Look around for freebies.  We have planted 3 Eastern Red bud trees and 4 Eastern Red Cedars just by looking in the ditch and property adjacent to ours.  I also rooted a fig tree from our neighbor’s magnificently huge tree.  Yes, I got permission from our neighbor first!  

 (Terribly harsh lighting, but sometimes it's just about capturing the moment).

We still have so much to learn.  We haven’t tackled growing grass yet.  We just mow our clover and hope all the green blends together.   My dad raises beef cattle and to successfully do that, you need be just as successful in growing grass.  He wisely scanned our yard and pronounced that we still needed a ton of lime.  He was being literal… back to the budget. 

 

Happy Spring!